Female Translation

“I kissed a girl and I liked it, the taste of her cherry chap stick.

I kissed a girl just to try it, I hope my boyfriend doesn’t mind it”

What to do

There are a couple of reasons for this excuse and context must be taken into consideration:

• First, the girl may really be a lesbian. In this case, befriend her anyway as you would any interesting stranger. Lesbians usually have a solid group of girlfriends, and one of them must be single and straight. If anything, just talking to a group of girls at a bar or club creates more social proof for the player.
• Second, she may be bi-sexual but is putting up a shield to guard against guys hitting on her all night. In this case, don’t give up. Ask her to kiss her girlfriend to prove it. Befriend her anyway if she does follow through.
• Finally, sometimes girlfriends will suddenly say this in the middle of a relationship. Is she really into girls? You may suggest a threesome with another girl via tandem hunting. Time and experience will tell which sex she likes better  

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Female Translation

… with you, at least. Blame it on the fates.

What to do

This is a bad one. It involves a negative connotation to being together and actually having no control over it. As damage control, you can ask for more details on what exactly she means. Reply with, “Yeah, you’re totally right. We should break this off” and pre-empt her.

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Female Translation

I would rather spend time with my dog, than with you. He actually LIKES to lick me.

What to do

It’s a fact of life that pets pass away, but more often than not, this is just another hard-to-verify excuse that girls use to avoid spending time with you.  If you call her again two weeks later, don’t be surprised to find that her dog is dying a long, slow death.

This is a tough one to break. If indeed true, give her some time to recover. If you know the girl well, buy her a new puppy to signify a new beginning with you. If you know she is full of it, or do not care about the outcome, call her out on her lies with something equally amusing.

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