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Female Translation
I have been supporting Joe’s lazy butt for the past 6 months, and he has yet to get promoted to the Burger King store manager. Come to think of it… I can do better with someone else if I get some work done and improve my sex appeal with a new “look”.
What to do
“What? We’ve been focusing on you for the past 2 years! What do you really want?!”
Female Translation
I AM in a transition. A transition to a better looking and cooler guy than you.
What to do
Everyone is technically in a “life transition”. Things change. It is a fact of life. This makes this excuse particularly lame. It is usually followed up by, “I’m studying for a test” or “I am moving to the city” or “I am trying to focus on my acting career”.
Because she’s not attracted to you anymore, and your core identity doesn’t really fit her future prospects of where she is going. This is a particularly effective excuse that “drags out” relationships, because it involves change over time. What chodes usually do is that change who they are and “fit” into her life and transition. Ironically this only pushes the woman further away, because a real man may sacrifice a little to accommodate her, but always has his own goals to pursue as well. Women lose attraction for men who seem to have no direction in life.
Female Translation
You were really a great emotional tampon for me when I really needed someone to cry on. God. This guy is such a good friend! If I fuck him I may lose it. Sometimes I imagine John without a penis. Because that’s what he is to me. A penis-less, non threatening, very friendly, non sexual being.
A scene from “Just Friends”
@ 0:27:
Jamie: You mean more to me than anyone in this whole world
Chris: Really!?
Jamie: I love you Chris..
Jamie: Like a brother. We’re friends right?
What to do
You have been this hunny bunny’s best friend now for over a year now. She tells you about all her problems with her asshole boyfriends and “stupid guys” trying to pick her up at the bar and grocery store. You’ve had a secret crush on her for years and now the pressure has built up so much inside of you that you cannot control telling her your true feelings. Despite the fact that you think she suspects that you love her already, you plan out a time, place and event to proclaim your true love to her.
Before you do, realize that 99% of the time if you are in the friend zone you’re pretty much screwed. Preserve the friendship and learn more about girls from her and see if any of her friends are potentially good girlfriends.
