Female Translation

I would rather spend time with my dog, than with you. He actually LIKES to lick me.

What to do

It’s a fact of life that pets pass away, but more often than not, this is just another hard-to-verify excuse that girls use to avoid spending time with you.  If you call her again two weeks later, don’t be surprised to find that her dog is dying a long, slow death.

This is a tough one to break. If indeed true, give her some time to recover. If you know the girl well, buy her a new puppy to signify a new beginning with you. If you know she is full of it, or do not care about the outcome, call her out on her lies with something equally amusing.

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Female Translation

I don’t want to talk to you. Or see you. Ever again. Please stop calling.

Scenario

This actually happened to me once in Rio when we ran into 2 English speaking students from the US, Jesse and Brenna. We ended up with Brenna’s number because she was the responsible one and Jesse forgot her phone. On the first call to hangout at the beach, the girls were at the church and on second call, one of our buddies who hit if off with Jesse asked to speak to Jesse. To which Brenna paused, and after a long hold replied, “Remember how Jesse said she’s allergic to a lot of things? Yeah? Well Jesse is allergic to cell phones as well.”

What to do

Jesse probably doesn’t want to talk to you or your friend. She knows she’s the hotter one of the 2 girls and that guys constantly try to hit on her by going through her less attractive friend. Jesse probably has a sense of humor as well, throwing out a ridiculous excuse like that to see how you would react.

Call her out on her BS. Or, continue to work Brenna. If Brenna is willing to come out to an event, Jesse is likely to follow since they are both away from home, and Brenna is the leader of the group.

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